Not a Boy, but not yet a Man.

Well that was fast.
Gone from me; taken right from my hands, pried from my shaking fingers.
How strange.
Complaining about her... always. I hear nothing positive, ever. Except that she intrigues you.
Good for her, she's intriguing. So are jokes, doors marked 'do not enter' and secrets. They are all intriguing but you don't base a relationship upon that solemely.
I think you're crazy.
One night telling me all these things that sent butterflies throughout my stomach.
The next, stealing all my butterflies, replacing them with squirmy, crawling catterpillars.
Congrats.
All you've wanted this past year was a relationship with a girl; a girlfriend.
But why oh why?!
The idea, it consumed you. It consumed every part of you.
That is what drove me crazy. The fact that you weren't happy with your life the way it was.
Complaining about how it wasn't enough. I will never understand how you can't appreciate what's right in front of you. It's such a simple concept, yet it appears to baffle you mindlessly.
Ugh, these crazy teen years.
I want to say I'm happy for you. I might not mean it, but I'll say it anyways.
I'm happy for you.
You got a relationship with a girl, it's what you wanted. I hope you didn't just do it for the sake of being 'taken' in high school. That's sad..
I know it's true though.
I hope she makes you happy. That, I can say honestly. You deserve happiness; you seem to have trouble finding it.
So how long's this going to last?
Not the relationship, my dear. How long will I be telling you my congratulations and giving you more advice?
Surely a month will feel like a couple dozen to me.
Soon enough though, I will be telling you how I'm sorry your ride has come to an end.
Then, and only then, will I truly feel the need to say my congratulations.
Congratulations! -You didn't actually like her, you were using her to fill that void of loneliness and cave into the pressure of teen relationships... Yes, congratulations on realizing you were stupid.
Congratulations on trying to make a 'wrong', 'right'.
Is my tone sour? Perhaps...
When it's done will I have the urge to say, "Thank God that's over" , or , "I told you so".
Of course. But I won't. I'm better than that.
In the time being, I know you will change.
I hate change. It's scary and leaves me feeling insecure.
I know time and change will take advantage of you. It's going to change you.
I may be horrible for saying this, yet perhaps it's normal, but I hope she ends it.
Or do I?
If she ends it you will be the one still feeling for her, mourning.
If you end it you may regret what you did and go crawling back to her for a second chance.
If you crawl back to her I will honestly vomit...
So now I've got a letter with your name and address on it.
It's all ready to go except for the stamp.
I wrote you a lovely letter, really. I spent lots of time on it. I put lots of thought into it.
Suddenly I don't want to send it though.
This is slowly crushing my heart.
I want you to read the words of kindess I inscripted onto each page, but I wanted the you from two weeks ago to read it. Not the you in two weeks.
I think I'll still send it. Maybe...
And what hurts most of all, is that I'd thought I was over you.
Apparently I'm not.
It's sad because I tried oh so hard to treat you as a friend, not a lover.
You could tell something was up the day I started thinking about you less.
I didn't like that. I don't like people knowing how I'm feeling without me saying a word.
It was my actions that set him off I guess.
Many chats turned to very little.
Words I spoke to you held less meaning. We both understood that.
A normal conversation. We had many lately. One's where someone would want to jump in and join; fun ones.
You wanted to be loved by someone. You wanted to feel needed.
You were needed by me. When I stopped needing you as much though, you didn't like it.
Honestly, I didn't like it either. But it just happened. One day I just realized that I was thinking about you less. I didn't have the urge to talk to you every day. Maybe once a week - if even.
And it's sad, because I've gotten to know you so well.
You have a good heart and you are a good listener.
So sad.
This is going to lessen once again, now that you've got her in your life.
I don't hate her. I don't even dislike her.
To be honest, it's you I'm upset with. She's done nothing at all; I would probably even like her.
It's not that I'm mad at you, I'm just confused by you.
A conundrum is what you are.
Well, when it's over you won't be the same. Maybe you'll be a conundrum I'll have a solution to.
Maybe even understand it. I won't hope too much for it though.
You may be with her for a year. You may be with her until we graduate.
Boy, that's a long time. Think it'll be long for you?
Wrong.
It's going to be heller long for me. I can already feel it...
I won't let myself get too wrapped in this though.
I'm going to mask myself and tell you I'm happy for you.
I've decided you're going to believe me, even if I have to make myself believe it.
When it's over I'll be there for you, pretending I had no idea it would end, and that you two seemed perfect for each other.
You're going to believe me once again.
I'll tell you your future looks bright and you're better off. I'll tell you that high school love doesn't usually flourish, especially when you've built the relationship on a single stone. Sure they can add up, but that was not what you intended to do in the first place -you only needed one stone. It was good enough for you, your purposes.
But one stone will only last so long..
I'll tell you I'm there for you. I care about you and love you...
Somehow I don't think I'll have trouble making either of us believe that.
But if I tell you I'm okay, and I'm doing just fine.
It's probably the biggest lie of them all.