2 posts in one day! Sheesh, for a birthday girl I've got a lot of worry on my mind! I do not like it at all!
Well... confliction. Confliction has decided to drop in on me these past couple weeks and stay. Go away! I hate you! Or do I? Maybe it's a good thing...
I'm getting ahead of myself.
So you were and are the boy I thought and think I actually love. You are the only one I've put faith into that I could have a good relationship with that went past friendship. We had something. It only seems to work when you play though. Lately you don't feel like swinging at my throws though. And how can you play baseball with one person?
You can't.
You don't answer my texts, my messages, I post things for you to read which I know you see, I know. Today of all days you don't wish me a happy birthday? Well that hurts...
This blows my stress over my morals out of the water. If you can't take a second to wish me a happy birthday then what about me is important to you anymore? Have I hurt you somehow? I try so hard to be oh so nice to everyone...especially you. Except with you I didn't have to try, it just came like it does with people I really care about.
Do you not care about me anymore then? That can't be it.
You sent me that letter. A full paged letter, hand-written.
This is so corny, but every time I hear 'Teenage Dream' by Katy Perry I think of the letter and I think of you.
You used to randomly text me and it was always sweet and unsuspected.
Before that though, for almost three years straight we'd talk every single night, or every second. I didn't have a phone then so we would go on MSN. I feel weird going on now because I only ever went on to talk to you. And it never mattered whether or not you were single, you'd keep me in your life. I loved you for that.
But now I feel like I'm being pushed out of your life and it's hurting me more than I thought it would. I want to say you'll be the one missing out, but I know I'm missing out too, because you are a good person. You know so much about me. I care about you so much, it's ridiculous.. You're probably the first guy I actually think I would use the word 'love' with and mean it seriously. (Or not seriously, but when saying it jokingly we both knew it held truth to it.. don't try denying it, I won't.) How crazy is that? How do I know what love is, I'm just a teenager?
Well, when I talk to him I get this overwhelming sensation running through my body. I'm so happy and I wait eagerly for your every word. I over analyzed them all and kept past conversations in mind to re-tell myself on rainy days. I took an interest in you without any effort. I just wanted to know about you. It wasn't ever a strain to find things to talk about. You were that guy that would totally disagree with me and mock all of the things I loved. Why did I enjoy that so much?
Maybe it was because you were so bluntly honest. I liked it because so many see me as this polite young lady who's feelings are so delicate that you dare not say anything that may hurt her feelings. People would say things that they thought kept me happy because they didn't want to be mean. It's quite nice actually, that people would care so much to do that. I did love that he was so honest though, probably because like I said, most people weren't so (bluntly honest).
Well I miss those days. I don't like change. You didn't like it either.. which is another reason why I'm so surprised you're backing off.
All I can hope is that it's not intentional. Maybe you're too busy for me.
TOO BUSY FOR ME? Geez... alright. Everyone in the world gets busy, but if you want to do something then you freaking do it. The sad truth is that if he'd wanted to talk to me or wish me a happy birthday, he could have figured out a way to do it already.
Does this mean I have to be ready to say goodbye?
I hate losing people I love.
The worst is when you lose people you love that are still alive... every time you're forced to seeing them or speaking to them, part of you aches for past memories. At least that's how I feel.
Time is going by too quickly.
Well... confliction. Confliction has decided to drop in on me these past couple weeks and stay. Go away! I hate you! Or do I? Maybe it's a good thing...
I'm getting ahead of myself.
So you were and are the boy I thought and think I actually love. You are the only one I've put faith into that I could have a good relationship with that went past friendship. We had something. It only seems to work when you play though. Lately you don't feel like swinging at my throws though. And how can you play baseball with one person?
You can't.
You don't answer my texts, my messages, I post things for you to read which I know you see, I know. Today of all days you don't wish me a happy birthday? Well that hurts...
This blows my stress over my morals out of the water. If you can't take a second to wish me a happy birthday then what about me is important to you anymore? Have I hurt you somehow? I try so hard to be oh so nice to everyone...especially you. Except with you I didn't have to try, it just came like it does with people I really care about.
Do you not care about me anymore then? That can't be it.
You sent me that letter. A full paged letter, hand-written.
This is so corny, but every time I hear 'Teenage Dream' by Katy Perry I think of the letter and I think of you.
You used to randomly text me and it was always sweet and unsuspected.
Before that though, for almost three years straight we'd talk every single night, or every second. I didn't have a phone then so we would go on MSN. I feel weird going on now because I only ever went on to talk to you. And it never mattered whether or not you were single, you'd keep me in your life. I loved you for that.
But now I feel like I'm being pushed out of your life and it's hurting me more than I thought it would. I want to say you'll be the one missing out, but I know I'm missing out too, because you are a good person. You know so much about me. I care about you so much, it's ridiculous.. You're probably the first guy I actually think I would use the word 'love' with and mean it seriously. (Or not seriously, but when saying it jokingly we both knew it held truth to it.. don't try denying it, I won't.) How crazy is that? How do I know what love is, I'm just a teenager?
Well, when I talk to him I get this overwhelming sensation running through my body. I'm so happy and I wait eagerly for your every word. I over analyzed them all and kept past conversations in mind to re-tell myself on rainy days. I took an interest in you without any effort. I just wanted to know about you. It wasn't ever a strain to find things to talk about. You were that guy that would totally disagree with me and mock all of the things I loved. Why did I enjoy that so much?
Maybe it was because you were so bluntly honest. I liked it because so many see me as this polite young lady who's feelings are so delicate that you dare not say anything that may hurt her feelings. People would say things that they thought kept me happy because they didn't want to be mean. It's quite nice actually, that people would care so much to do that. I did love that he was so honest though, probably because like I said, most people weren't so (bluntly honest).
Well I miss those days. I don't like change. You didn't like it either.. which is another reason why I'm so surprised you're backing off.
All I can hope is that it's not intentional. Maybe you're too busy for me.
TOO BUSY FOR ME? Geez... alright. Everyone in the world gets busy, but if you want to do something then you freaking do it. The sad truth is that if he'd wanted to talk to me or wish me a happy birthday, he could have figured out a way to do it already.
Does this mean I have to be ready to say goodbye?
I hate losing people I love.
The worst is when you lose people you love that are still alive... every time you're forced to seeing them or speaking to them, part of you aches for past memories. At least that's how I feel.
Time is going by too quickly.
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