Different.

I see your face,
I cry.
I see your face,
I smile..

Why?
Why is that?

You're the only thing in life that makes me drastically sad.
Wow.
Literally nothing else in my life can make me sad like you, and ironically enough, that itself is very sad. So why do I keep you around? Part of me says it's because you can also make me happy like nothing else in my life can; a different way and a different happiness than I've ever known. It's bitter sweet, you know?

Sometimes I think that staying with you is wrong. I can't even look at what I'm writing because it's so honest. If I look away will It go away? I came so far once. Just once; to get over you. And now I'm here again, but it's round 2. So it's the same idea but I've done it before so it's not as hard, essentially though it's still the exact same thing.
I want to love you.

I'm so afraid you'll hurt me again.
I let what the others say affect me. I shouldn't. I try so hard not to let it, but it does.

And why was I ever mad at the cute guy who treated me well? He was annoying, but I was the one who acted ignorantly. I shouldn't be the angry one. I'm sorry... Funny how it took me 2 months to realize it. This is as strong as I am though, I couldn't go further and I'm sorry for that as well.

I don't think I'm where I used to be though. I'm getting better at this.