HE.

I just had a revelation.
A serious revelation.
You were with her four months before I had been with him.
You've been with her for 6 months and I with him for 2 months.
So with that four month gap of you being taken and me being single I didn't understand how to respect our new relationship.
I should not have been flirting with you because it was wrong. It might have made you feel confused and thinking back makes me feel guilty; that's how I know it's wrong. 
I wasn't trying to wreck your relationship or sabotage it, I simply didn't understand...how to be single without you being single as well.
Now I get it though.
Tonight we were outside and he put his arms around me and things just all of a sudden felt right.
I heard the click.
The magical and blissful sound of a chiming click where everything feels right and you can feel everything has come together nicely.
I can't help but feel horrible thinking you had achieved your click already... maybe you haven't though. Odds are you have and while you were trying to enjoy the good in your life you couldn't fully appreciate it because I was like the 'tick' that kept interrupting your clicks. 
Does that make any sense?
I don't know... I'm sorry; I know that much. 
I'm glad I realized that tonight; that I'm really happy with what I have right now.
Maybe I can't have you, at least not now, but I think I'm starting to get over you.
Maybe it's crazy me talking and I'm still madly in love with you.
But I don't feel the way I used to... I don't want to talk to you every single day or even every second day.
After you hurt me I think I actually learned my lesson; fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Even though it's more like 'Fool me eighty-seven times, shame on me again.'
Anyways, after feeling my click tonight I knew he deserved the best. My he. He-him who is mine.
He deserves the best because he is genuinely a good guy who treats me better than anyone. I can tell how much he loves me even if it's only been a couple months. We've known each other so much longer so I actually know him. And he deserves better than what I've been giving him.. he deserves someone like the girl I am going to be.
And other he, not my he, but he-he; yes him, he deserves the best too. Sadly, I don't think I am what is best for him. I think moving on will help him maybe more than it will help me. He's a terrific guy; one in a million, and he deserves his perfect one in a million and I can't help but think for once in my life that maybe she's not me.

I think I'm moving on even though I'm not ready.
But I can't stop.