Actors

Worthless. As in, you have no value. That's not true, its also much too harsh. You have uses, just none I can think of that are beneficial ...

I'm probably sounding extremely rude and unlike myself, but I am not one who goes down without a fight when you stab me in the back. 
Its nothing that I cannot handle, its the element of surprise that continues to hold its grasp upon me. 
I don't believe I was naïve this time, for I was not the only one you had fooled. They all believed your act, you are quite the actress if I do say so myself. You had us all believing what I think was a lie. Well the questions I have are endless... "Why?" Is probably my biggest one but the more realistic one I'd get a better answer for would be, "was it all a lie?" Were the laughs and the smiles, teasing and hugs, were they all just acting? I wonder if you even cared before, or if it was all just pretend. 
To think of all the ridiculous things you could do I'd honestly never guessed, in a million years, this is what you would have done. 
It shocked us all and you left us hurt. You're not sorry -sometimes you know the answer without having to ask the question. 
The worst feeling from this is betrayal. I make friends and I start off by telling them little secrets or unusual things about me most people don't know, so that I can create a bond of trust between us. Once I feel I can truly trust them I let them in on what's really behind the blue eyes and blonde hair. I let them in and I don't hold back. Well when someone has betrayed me and has knowledge of things about me that may not necessarily be bad, just private, it scares me to death. I absolutely hate that feeling of being vulnerable -when at the fall of a raindrop other people can get to know things about me that are private. Things I otherwise wouldn't have told them. They are strangers to me and these are things about my private life, why should they know?
I spoke to my mother about this whole flesh wound and she was very helpful. I don't like talking about my feelings... I like to write (in anonymity mostly). What I appreciated from her was that she spoke to me like an adult. Most adults tell me not to worry about these things and that because I'm a teenager I'm blowing it out of proportion. But I know the truth. This is a big event in my life that's stressing me out. In 20 years I'm not going to think of it as any lesser impacting than it is now. I'm not dying or anything from it, but its not fun and it's hard to go through it almost alone.

 I hope she knows she's not worth my tears. I'm not going to cry over this loss. She's not worth anyone's tears. Who is, with actions so hateful and unforgiving ? Nobody, that's who. 

I guess the best way to describe it would be if you were watching a horror movie and they have a conclusion completely shocking and unexpected. You cock your head sideways, sitting there in confusion and asking aloud, "what the heck just happened". The surprise ending wasn't good, -most people don't hypothesize a terrible outcome to a movie; who would pay to watch a tragedy when people read and watch movies to escape their own worlds for a bit? You sit there 'curfuffled' and a bit betrayed that you were so mislead. This usually leads to people liking the movie (Ouh! Surprise ending!), while in reality people do not enjoy 'surprise endings' because people have trouble adjusting to change. That's a whole other topic though.
Well, to the girl carrying around the bow and arrows, if you wish to come back I wish you the best of luck. I am a caring and forgiving person but you know better than to take advantage of me, make me look stupid or feel like a lesser. 
I know I have to still face you every day, I'll manage. For now, good luck with your life, maybe someday we will meet again.