There's a weird pleasure in pain,
especially heartache. What is it that is so attractive to human
beings to love another who doesn't love you back? ...It comes with a
pain that is sickly pleasurable.
I believe its driven by desire. You
desire this love because it's so unattainable. So then what happens
once you attain it? You probably move on and lose interest, right?
Ideally; it makes sense to me. Moving on is hard but sometimes
staying in a difficult situation is more painful. We know that moving
on hurts because it means defeat to some, me included, sometimes...
When I move on, or at least try, it's as though I'm giving up on
something I had been working so hard on. Even though I had no control
over the situation completely, I still take complete responsibility,
and why is that? Why do we blame ourselves so often for things we
can't control? Is there another pleasure in this pain? Because I have
not felt it, I've only felt pain stem from it. And I was wondering if
this is just a phase, but I'm pretty sure this is an inner battle
that everyone faces, no matter what age, all your life. I mean, that
can easily be seen as a bad thing, but it's a part of life that you
can't control, you can simply accept it. And maybe that's the good in
this whole pleasure in pain situation. Maybe what we take from it all
is that we have to stop blaming ourselves for things that turn out
negatively, and just accept them as part of life. Hopefully it
teaches us that it is possible to obtain pleasure from life without
also experiencing pain. We all know that's true, but maybe when we
really think about it in this context we can better understand it. On
the other hand, maybe it's totally normal to experience pleasure in
certain types of pain, and it's an unquestionable part of life.
Perhaps there's no lesson to it and it's just part of life, it just
is. I don't have the answers,
I'm just trying to unbiasedly open my mind to all hypothesis. Because
you can never truly know for sure, and you always have to expect the
unexpected.
